Battling Common Back-to-School Anxieties

Battling Common Back-to-School Anxieties
It’s normal for your child to feel butterflies in their stomach at the thought of going back to school. However, when those butterflies become knots — and your child’s worries and fears make them not want to go to school at all or negatively impacts their experience — they may be struggling with a form of school-related anxiety.

Adolescent Anxiety and School Refusal
Anxiety disorders are among the most common disorders facing children and adolescents—and the proportion of adolescents with anxiety has grown over the past decade, affecting up to 30% of adolescents.
Three types of anxiety disorders commonly associated with school are:

• Social anxiety disorder
• Generalized anxiety disorder
• Separation anxiety disorder

Social Anxiety Disorder: Not Just ‘Shy’

The Child Mind Institute website says that social anxiety is “not just being shy.”

While it is common for children and teenagers to feel anxious about what other people think of them, some kids feel so anxious that they develop social anxiety disorder. “Social anxiety in kids starts between the ages of 8 and 15. They can usually hide their feelings in the beginning, and parents and teachers may not notice that anything is wrong,” according to the website.

Generally, for those kids that are shy, they will warm up with time, unlike kids with social anxiety, who may not. For those with social anxiety, social situations that are developmentally appropriate for their age may trigger their anxiety.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) website lists the signs of social anxiety disorder as:

• “Being extremely self-conscious, worry about ‘goofing up,’ being laughed at or humiliated in social situations; observers sometimes consider them to be shy;
• Will not raise their hand to ask questions;
• When called on, will not make eye contact (when culturally appropriate to do so) and will speak softly or use single word answers;
• Will not join a group of children to play;
• Does not like to attend parties or social events;
• Will not volunteer to read aloud or go to the board when others are watching.”

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Living with Worry

 When kids worry excessively about how they perform at school, in sports, and in clubs, it may be a part of a wider generalized anxiety disorder.

Generalized anxiety is when children worry about a wide variety of everyday things. Kids with generalized anxiety often worry particularly about things that might happen at school or home and can struggle with perfectionism, an article on the AAP website.

AAP’s website notes that signs to look for generalized anxiety include:

• “6 year olds worrying about going to college.
• 8 year olds worrying about whether the teacher will be sick or at school today, if there might be a test that they don’t know about or whether they forgot to do something for school.
• Asks a lot of ‘what if…’ questions and doesn’t respond to appropriate reassurance.
• Often lives with dread that something will go wrong even in routine activities.
• Often perfectionistic (maybe even a teacher favorite), but rigid and can’t tolerate change or ambiguity at school.
  • Studies hard – sometimes too much.
  • Can ‘freeze up’ or experience their mind ‘going blank’ and do poorly when under pressure.
  • Complains of muscle tension.
  • May know the answer but isn’t ‘sure,’ may over think and then make a wrong choice.
  • Get diagnosed with inattention but their inattention is due to preoccupation with worry about performance and uncertainty, but not ADHD.”

Separation Anxiety Disorder: When It Persists

Some children’s anxiety may peak when you drop them off at school. While struggling with drop-offs is common for younger kids, in some cases, it doesn’t get easier and may turn into separation anxiety disorder, according to the Child Mind Institute website.

“Toddlers who cling to mom as she’s leaving for work or wail when they’re handed to the babysitter are fairly common. Though their anguish troubles us, we know most of them will grow out of their fear and anxiety of separating from parents as they get older and more confident about their own powers.

But for some children the anxiety persists into the school years and becomes more rather than less pervasive. These kids have developed separation anxiety disorder, and their worries about being apart tend to mushroom far beyond the moment of separation. When kids with separation anxiety are away from caregivers they can develop extreme fears that sound melodramatic to the rest of us, but are very real to them,” according to the Child Mind Institute website.

The AAP website notes that signs of separation anxiety may be expressed through physical symptoms, “tantrums” or “melt downs” during the following scenarios:

• “Going to school;
• Going to other kids’ houses for play dates;
• Doing sleep overs or going away to camp;
• Falling asleep alone at night;
• Being in a different room in the house from the caregiver”

How to Ease Back-to-School Anxieties

At home, you can help ease your child’s back-to-school anxieties by taking steps to prepare them for the year ahead and listening to their specific concerns.

Johns Hopkins Medicine’s website recommends the following activities:

Prepare together. “A week or two before school, start preparing children for the upcoming transition by resuming school-year routines, such as setting a realistic bedtime and selecting tomorrow’s clothes.”

Find a friend. “Arrange play dates with one or more familiar peers before school starts. Research shows that the presence of a familiar peer during school transitions can improve children’s academic and emotional adjustment.

Make a visit. “Visit the school before the school year begins, rehearse the drop-off and spend time on the playground or inside the classroom if the building is open. Have your child practice walking into class while you wait outside or down the hall.

Look to something positive. “Come up with a prize or a rewarding activity that the child could earn for separating from mom or dad to attend school.”

Hear their concerns. “Validate the child’s worry by acknowledging that, like any new activity, starting school can be hard but soon becomes easy and fun.”

When to Consider Professional Help

Every child is different and may experience unique concerns or symptoms. If your child’s anxiety continues, you may wish to contact a professional for support and guidance to help them get the most out of their school year.